Everyone gets shown the same picture. A crowd of sperm, tails going, all pointed the same way. Ahead of them one round thing, pale and enormous and entirely still. The story attached to it never varies either: millions set off, one arrives, he breaks through, and she is fertilised. It is a good story. It has a hero and an obstacle and a prize. It is also, in almost every particular, not what happens.

Easter chocolate isn’t the problem—blood sugar chaos is. This guide breaks down how sugar affects female hormones and your cycle, and how to enjoy sweets strategically without crashes, guilt, or hormonal fallout.

Easter traditions were never meant to leave you bloated or exhausted. From pasture-raised eggs to spring greens, sunlight, and shared meals, this guide shows how to celebrate Easter in a way that genuinely nourishes your body.